


Sexual interaction between two female specimens of Warehousis agentus: a field study from the Mpumalanga Region, South Africa

by unicarna



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Crack, Discovery Channel, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:44:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1317013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicarna/pseuds/unicarna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a remote cave region of Mpumalanga, two agents come together. Their encounter largely conform to accounts of similar interactions from other regions, though these two appear to share an especially strong emotional bond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexual interaction between two female specimens of Warehousis agentus: a field study from the Mpumalanga Region, South Africa

**Author's Note:**

> At this juncture I have no reasonable explanation for this fic and should probably be put away.

Far from the barren landscape that is their natural habitat, two magnificent agents are using their fabled strength in a battle of the minds. The tall, brown-haired female, hereafter referred to as ’Top’, has adopted a stance of unwavering determination; both feet firmly on the ground, hands on her hips and eyes staring into those of the shorter, raven-haired female, hereafter referred to as ’Bottom’.   
  
”No.” Top says firmly. ”We will _not_ come back tomorrow. There’s nothing in these tunnels! We’ve crawled around in them for days and only seen clay in every form imaginable, and a couple of dead mice! No artefact! And did I mention the clay!?”  
  
Bottom, bravely or perhaps foolishly challenging Top’s determination, smiles knowingly, ”But you look absolutely _ravishing_ in those tight-fitting trousers! I do enjoy crawling behind you.”   
  
Top is unfazed by Bottom’s flattery.  
  
”You mean the trousers you can’t really see anymore because of the, what’s it now, oh, _thick layer of clay_. It’s everywhere, even in my mouth, Helena!”  
  
[Note: Helena is the designation Top uses to adress Bottom, especially when exasperated, saddened or experiencing pleasure.]  
  
Adopting the classic expression of concern, Bottom steps closer to Top.   
  
”That sounds rather uncomfortable. Shall I take a look?”  
  
The glare Top gives her now rivals the stare of determination from before. Top surely is a powerful agent specimen.   
  
”I know what you’re doing and it’s not gonna work.”  
  
Bottom steps closer still. You have to admire her bravery. Personally, I would tremble before Top and I have come face to face with many an agent in my days. Her strong jaw and blazing eyes are a striking contrast to the soft curls of her hair, her sharp tone like tantalizing music to my ears… but I digress. When Bottom speaks up, her tone can best be described as silky, intended to cast a spell on Top and rein her in, syllable by seductive syllable.  
  
”And what am I doing, exactly?”  
  
Remarkably, Top appears somewhat flustered when replying, ”Trying to get close to me so I’ll forget how much I don’t want clay and remember how much I want you.”  
  
Bottom appears pleased with this assessment and reaches up to caress Top’s face, leaving finger-shaped streaks on the dusty cheek.  
  
”You talk an awful lot about clay, darling.”  
  
As sudden as lightning strikes the umbrella thorns of the savanna, Top pulls Bottom towards her by the waist, initiating a mouth-to-mouth contact known as a ’kiss’ among agents. [Note: this behavior is common for all species in the _warehousis_ genus]. Bottom lets out an incoherent sound at the contact, believed by most agentologists to be a way of expressing pleasure, possibly even a reflexive response to mouth contact with a suitable mate.   
  
Subsequently, the tone of their encounter changes in rapid succession, going from teasing to passionate to positively exploding with sexual energy in a matter of seconds. Top steers Bottom towards the shelter they have set up outside the cave mouth, which luckily only consists of four poles and a canvas roof. The open sides allow for continued observation. Bottom falls down on a primitive bed known as a ’bunk’ after a rough but controlled push from Top. It is clear that she is not using all of her strength, reinforcing the hypothesis that these two have a well-developed emotional bond. Top follows quickly after, positioning herself atop Bottom and resumes the ’kissing’. After approximately one minute of this behavior, Top initiates a rocking motion with her hips that is followed by Bottom emitting more of the intelligible sounds, at a higher frequency. [Note: In chapter 6 of the ’Field guide to the _Warehousis_ family’ this behavior is classified as type 3 humping.]  
  
After a lengthy session of the aforementioned rocking at various paces during which both females utter several different sounds of encouragement and pleasure, described in detail in the article ’Sexual Sounds and Auditory Stimuli of _Warehousis_ Females’ by A. Hansen, Bottom halts Top’s movements and makes an attempt to remove the clothing that covers her bottom half [’trousers’]. In response, Top grabs hold of Bottom’s wrists and holds them above the female’s head, using one hand only. This appears to please Bottom, whose pupils dilate. Top then proceeds to remove Bottom’s lower body garment in a smooth motion that suggests some experience.   
  
Immediately after the garment is disposed of, Top traces her hand along the inside of Bottom’s thigh, quickly reaching the apex. Touching the apex region with her fingers in a controlled circular motion, Top moves so that Bottom’s thigh is between her own legs, and thereby, in contact with her own apex region. Thus begins the main intercourse of Top and Bottom.   
  
Top rubs her apex region against Bottom’s thigh [note: the thigh-apex movement is classified as type 2 scissoring in chapter 6 of ’Field guide to the _Warehousis_ family’], while touching Bottom. A few minutes after the initiation of this act, Top changes her touching from a circular to a thrusting motion, which also increases the frequency of Bottom’s sounds. The thrust and rub goes on for approximately seven minutes. [Note: the duration of this behavior has been known to vary between pairs of agents, and at the present time no statistically meaningful conclusions can be drawn regarding encounter times.]  
  
The encounter ends in a series of loud exclamations while the bodies of both females shake, a phenomenon well documented and tentatively termed ’the finish’, but unfortunately poorly understood. Nevertheless, it is as beautiful as it is tantalizing I mean fascinating to watch and I feel most privileged to have observed it. For science. After such a phenomenon has occurred, an agents heightened pulse, perspiration and breathing frequency commonly decreases, as evidenced by the use of High-Quality Remote Measurements of Bodily Functions (HQRMBF) on individual Warehousis agentus, performed by Dr Leekie of the Daystrom Institute. Hence, the phenomenon seems to have a calming effect on the agents. However, the physiological aspects of the finish are still largely unknown and require further study.  
  
The finish of this particular encounter is followed by a period of rest during which Top positions herself next to Bottom, arm draped across Bottom’s chest. A short communication follows before they both succumb to sleep, another common post-finish denominator of agent sexual encounters.  
  
”We’re still not going back in.” Top says with far less strength than she showed at the beginning.  
  
”Not even if I let you fuck me in the tunnel?”  
  
Top’s eyes widen and she exclaims, ”Helena! That would be entirely inappropriate!”  
  
Bottom smirks and says, ”I think we passed appropriate some time ago.”  
  
And thus concludes the observation of Top and Bottom, which has provided valuable information on the copulation of _Warehousis agentus_ , a truly fascinating species of Planet Earth.


End file.
